turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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