its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
