Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
