Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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