Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
