I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
