I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
