so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
