You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
