Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
