Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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