were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she looked like the before picture.
Farmville is her only friend.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
