Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
