I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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