I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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