Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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