I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
