So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize