Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
