Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
