the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
