remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize