im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
