the condom got lost in my hair
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
