So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize