this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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