and you said cock pushups were impossible
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
