....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
