oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
