Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just want nice things and good sex
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
