New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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