Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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