friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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