Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
