I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
