Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
