I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
