this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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