lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
