What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dignity is for republicans.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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