So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
