considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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