I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize