How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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