I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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