somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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