I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
