When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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