I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
