I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
