my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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