There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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