Moan for me like Helen Keller
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
