So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
