After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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