dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
