that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
